Apparently 8 isn't enough.

There's an attorney who works in my office who treats me and his secretary as if we are children. He is like 70 so it sorta makes sense. But, he sends me this email today that was about 5 paragraphs on how to do do something that is a routine office matter. We file briefs ALLLLLLL THE TIME......why do you feel the need to explain to me how to do ridiculous shit????

For instance...he spent 3 sentences explaining to me how to prepare a table of contents...and how to do leader tabs. I'm not even kidding. I'm going to copy it from the email. Be right back.

The Table of Contents needs to be formatted so that there is an item of content on the left side and a page number on the right side. I’ve formatted the location of the items of content, so don’t move the left margins or indents. Typically, a line of dots goes between the item and the page number, but if you cannot do that, I understand.

REALLY GARY? IS THAT WHAT THOSE CRAZY DOTS ARE???? WELL THANK YOU, I DON'T KNOW HOW I EVER GOT ON WITHOUT YOU HERE.

here's some more:

but we will have to change the page numbering. The cover page gets no page number. The Table of Contents all the way to the Statement of the Facts and of the Case is numbered with Arabic lower case numbers (i, ii, iii,…). Page numbers begin at the Statement of the Facts and of the Case and continue to the end of the brief.

i guess the other 50 briefs i've filed in the 8 years i've been a secretary probably wouldn't have been any indication how to format the brief.

We will also need to complete the Table of Citations.

FUNNY. THE LAST 50 BRIEFS I FILED DIDN'T HAVE TABLES OF CITATIONS. THIS IS NUTS!

We will need to SERVE one copy of the brief to opposing counsel, and one copy of the brief to the town attorney. We also need to mail the original and three copies of the brief to the First DCA, and efile the brief as well, in accordance with the local procedures (attached).

well you're so goddamn on top of things, why don't you just bind it and send it out yourself? i'm sure you can handle that...you have everything else in order.

IT JUST BLOWS ME AWAY.....i've been in a legal office for 8 years....i don't need someone to hold my fucking hand to file a brief. why don't you jsut show me where my keyboard is every morning. or better yet, walk me from my car to the front door.

/rant